PT#10: iPoddity

When you're packing your bag for the hospital, don't forget your ipod - it was very nice to be able to shut the whole world out for a while.

PT#9: Loosey-Goosey

Being pregnant makes all your joints loosen. If you go to get a manicure or pedicure, make sure you tell them you're preggers (if you're not showing yet), so they don't over-massage your joints. And only go to a very well ventilated place - nail polish fumes smell ten times worse when you're pregnant.

PT#8: Take Care of You

This one needs no explanation: Elizabeth Arden Red Door Pregnancy Massage. Ahhhhhhh...

PT#7: Quick Change Artist

Babies spit up. No getting around it. You can have a burp cloth permanently on your shoulder, but you're still going to get nailed from time to time. I came up with a solution that worked for me: I kept a pile of clean t-shirts right in the baby's room. (They were the nice men's XL t-shirts I'd worn throughout the pregnancy.) When you get splurched on, you can have a fresh t-shirt on in about 5 seconds.

PT#6: The Smell of Poop in the Morning

Diaper Genies use expensive refills. The Diaper Champ uses ordinary kitchen-size garbage bags.

PT#5: Those Essential Crotch Snaps

Ok, I've got a bunch of these tips saved up, and not much time (or headspace) to write anything else right now, so I'll start posting a pregnancy tip per day 'til I run out.

Babies don't walk til about 1 yr. So for the first year, they spend a lot of time being picked up by their armpits. Don't even bother with any clothes that don't snap under the crotch, because they'll just bunch up when you pick the baby up.

PT#4: We All Scream

People crave different things - for me it was ice cream. My favorite thing that my husband got me during my whole pregnancy was this. Did you know it is possible to love an ice cream scoop? It is.

PT#3: When Hearts Burn

Heartburn is a fact of pregnant life. Believe it or not, there is a limit to the number of TUMS you're supposed to eat in one 24-hour period. But there's no limit to how many Stoned Wheat Thins you can eat, and they work almost as well!

Hey, It Works....

If you're happy and you know it, kiss your mama
If you're happy and you know it, kiss your mama
If you're happy and you know it, then you really ought to show it
If you're happy and you know it, kiss your mama

PT#2: Comfy, Comfy Troll Shoes

Buy crocs. They may not be stylish, but they're heaven on swollen, sore pregnant feet.

Zen Mama

Embrace your exhaustion. Do not count the minutes until the baby falls asleep, for they are as numerous as the grains of sand on the beach that you will not see for quite some time, because you swore that you would never be the mother sponging spit up off the flight attendant with some soda water. The baby will sleep when the baby sleeps; you will sleep when the baby goes to college.

Yogurt on the tray. Yogurt on your blouse. Yogurt on the ceiling. Yogurt on Aunt Mabel’s antique sideboard that your sister keeps offering to take to her house “to preserve the heirloom.” Yogurt is everywhere; the universe is yogurt. Be one with the yogurt.

The tantrum is an illusion. Only the soul is eternal. Repeat—the tantrum is an illusion. Contrary to appearances, the child will not die if his crackers are in a green bowl instead of a blue bowl. Attachment brings suffering. His attachment to the blue bowl is bringing you suffering. The tantrum is an… OH FOR CRISSAKES, HERE’S YOUR STUPID BLUE BOWL.

The happy dance of a toddler is eternal.

The Pain of Attachment

I think I'm starting to get it. Starting, mind you. I'm certainly no expert, and I'm only barely "living" it, but. I'm starting to understand the Buddhist principle that attachment brings pain.

I remember one evening in college, over coffee with a professor, railing about this idea. How could you not be attached!? Attachment is how you express passion! What would life be without attachment?? She smiled and said that detatchment was a journey, that no one expected a mere human being to be completely detached. I still thought it was all hogwash.

Gretchen Rubin, who studies happiness, talks about it in social science terms as re-framing. Library fines: a shame and a bother, or a small fee for an amazing resource?

Eckhart Tolle take a more spiritual bent, discussing "radical acceptance." Can you accept each moment for what it is? That's the beginning of the spiritual journey.

I came up with a pretty good formulation several years ago:

If I am complaining, it is a sign that I either need to
a) change the situation, or
b) change my attitude towards the situation.

It's the serenity prayer, as rendered by a technical writer.

But it's only recently that I've started to recognize the pain, and see that it's directly attached (har har) to the attachment, and for me the attachment comes in this form: wanting things to be different.

Wanting a spend-thrift friend to be budget-minded. Wanting my house to sell quickly in this market. Wanting my boss to understand my career aspirations better than I do. Wanting DC weather to feel like Seattle. If I focus on any of these things long enough, I can induce a fair tizzy of anxiety, depression, rage, and yes, pain.

I guess my magic formulation is missing the "wisdom to know the difference" part. I think I should be able to change these things, if I just work hard enough. I'm attached to the idea of the thing changing, and I'm attached to the idea of my efficacy in changing it. Why, hello brick wall--we meet again.

The First R: Reduce

6 cobalt Baggu Bags: $38
Klean Kanteens for the whole family: $70
Teapot with strainer: $35

Fewer recyclables, less garbage: priceless

PT#1: Bra, Sweet Bra

I hereby declare Wednesdays Pregnancy Tip Day. Until I run out of tips.

Pregnant boobs are big and tender. Start wearing a nursing bra now. Here's my favorite. It's soft and comfy - like a sports bra only friendlier.

Call to Action (Thanks, Dr. Pausch!)

In Randy Pausch's fabulous Last Lecture, he mentions the "best piece of advice pound-for-pound that I have ever heard."

And I think all young ladies should hear this. Syl said, it took me a long time but I’ve finally figured it out. When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. It’s that simple. It’s that easy. And I thought back to my bachelor days and I said, damn.

Damn indeed. I wish someone had told me that in college.

That line--as well as many others--stayed with me. I started to think, y'know, that applies to the women, too. And it certainly applies to parents. And at work. And--woah--politicians!! In fact...

Doesn't that apply to just about everyone? "Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. "

What if you couldn't say anything? Make an excuse, make a joke, tell a story, apologize. What if all that mattered was what you did? Would the people you care about know that you care about them? Would the people you respect feel your respect?

What if you only thought about something long enough to decide what to do and make a plan of action--and then you let it go 'til you actually did the thing. Would there be a lot more peace and quiet in your head?

Since my head is not a very quiet, peaceful place most of the time, I certainly have a lot of thinking... uh, doing to do.

I've been talking about doing more writing for a long time now. Here's my blog.

What have you done lately?

Hello, there...

Just getting started. I'll be back with more soon.